Rio steal

Fashion has always been an avenue for paradoxes - well, in much the same way that this past summer's been a bit drizzly in parts, or that the infamous naga bhut jolokia chilli can have a bit of an afterkick. It is as much about regimented adherence to a given set of trends as it is about the necessity to be constantly breaking the rules and reinventing itself. As the late Isabella Blow once said, "fashion is anarchy." Then, there are times when it can be downright perverse, for instance...

How this season's fashion encourages us to dress:

How this season's weather necessitates that we dress:

Endemically British laments aside (with or without tea and scones) should we really blame it on fashion for being out of touch? I mean, how were the Premiere Vision Paris personnel to know that the gulf stream would be causing trouble this year and, you know, why should they care? Beyond the ivory towers of the elite, who think nothing of spending a four figure sum on a couture dress, we mortals are much harder pushed to justify parting with money for something we're simply never going to find an occasion to wear because it's constantly hammering down and freezing! Then again, isn't that that fashion's problem, as a creative avenue that has always struggled to be taken seriously? Why, my child, that question brings me to one of juiciest paradoxes of all: Out of all the design disciplines, fashion - the avenue that's always had to try the hardest to justify its existence and value system - is up there with the best of them in terms of necessity, and will be until the day we cease to need coverage. Since we have yet to start growing adequately protective fur (and deem it socially acceptable not to wax it and/or cover it with cheap diamantés - fur-jazzle, anyone?) we will simply need clothing, or something with which to cover ourselves. Not that it's just a question of basic insulation - every authoritative institution, from school to the army and prison, enforces the wearing of uniforms, with the latter including head shaving in their bid to help enforce their authority and values, while helping to quash any personal expression and resistance. Sartorial statements hold great psychological importance as a means of  personal expression,- they're never "just clothes" - hence why fashion has always provided such fertile ground for intellectual deconstruction and discourse.
Any stereotypical bitchiness, insecurity or superficiality on the part of the fashion world is surely self-inflicted.

Image: Vogue Brazil


For this entry, I've taken on the green circled denim shorts, recently worn in Vogue Brazil by Gisele Bundchen, only I've made them with warm, woolly crocheted circles, allowing me to hold on to this summer's exuberant neon and denim trend and at the same time to have something warm and snug for the inevitable cold that's get to come - so, that should be tomorrow's outfit taken care of!

You will need

Green wool

Cream wool

Crochet hook

Denim shorts

Scissors

Glue Gun

50-100 studs depending on how many circles you want to make.

Difficulty

Very easy

All you have to do is learn to crochet - and then marvel at how amazingly fun and therapeutic it is!

Time

Each circle takes up to 8 minutes, with the cream border taking a maximum of 3. Putting the shorts together took me 3 hours, and I don't want to give away the ending, but, let's just say it included "studding" and gluing!

How it's done

First of all you have to learn to crochet your circles. I'm a bit too lazy and bad at single-handed photography to explain it in pictures, so instead, I'll recommend you use this video tutorial especially up to 2:09, to teach yourself how to make a basic chain. Also, not how she starts a new row.

1. Make a chain of three loops, then insert your hook into the first one along, i.e. the one that's furthest away, then make a loop that links the two.


2. Insert your hook into the link below it and stitch a loop from that.

3. Repeat this process, working your way around the links below, to make a circle 2-4cm in diameter.


4. Repeat this process of crocheting small circles. You can make 10, 50 or 100 - you're the designer! That's just how we roll in the world of DIY! Just to give you an idea, I did about 48.

5. Using your cream wool, crochet a single-loop-wide border around each circle by making a loop, inserting your hook into a link around the edge, making another loop and pulling your hook through all three of them. Repeat this process, working your way around the edge.

6. Put a cone stud in the centre of each circle.

7. Glue your circles in place.

8. To form links between circles, like the ones on the original, use your crochet hook to thread your wool through one of the loops in the outside and tie them in place. Cut away the excess thread.

And there you have it!

Oh, and if you fancy attempting the red belt - I mean, why wouldn't you? - this is useful.