Bal-mania!

So, this is my final post before the bi-annual holy grail of all things fabulous that is Fashion Week - or rather, before it's over, and Chic Cheat begins its foray into all the new trends.  Worry not, dear readers, for I'm not too far out to sea to know it's already started...and this time, with a new twist in the tale of fashion's ever-unfolding story.  As The Global Herald...erm... heralded, on Saturday in its Google-search-topping article, the "New Digital Era Spells Trouble for Fashion Bloggers". Now far be it for me -being but a humble fashion blogger, myself - to embark on a debate regarding the finer points of semantics, but read the article and I think you'll agree it's not the bloggers facing said trouble, but the journalists and editors who find themselves competing with them.  Hundreds of them.  Thus, the resounding sentiment felt by all those from the official, printed press, was one of concern.   And with the sheer amount, and pace, of media available, it has every reason to be - though I could only guffaw when the author wrote "quite clearly, we can’t go on running out of Danish pastries as a result of the presence of hundreds of bloggers " as if those are going to be the only pies their new-found competitors will be trying to dip their fingers in!

Needless to say, I can't wait to give LFW's gems (whether or not of the Swarovski variety) the Chic Cheat treatment.  But first, as promised, I must hie with haste to my Chic Cheat ode to Balmain's Spring/Summer '10 collection - on the double!

Difficulty

Medium

Think I'm going to put this one down as so-so, where level of difficulty is concerned.  It's generally straightforward, but has its moments, namely when it comes to assembling and attaching the epaulettes.

Hours

A day or two's work, most of which can involves idle gluing and stitching, and can therefore be done in front of the telly!  Good times!

You will need

The following customising ingredients, available from all good haberdashers.  Here's what I paid for mine, and therefore round about what you should expect to pay for yours.  Prices may vary and could well be significantly more in London:

• Olive green military-style jacket.  I got mine from H&M, at a cost of £25, and struggled to find anything cheaper.  However, I came across black and navy jackets for about £10 at Primark, so it's worth a look to see if your local branch has one in green.


• Bead and fabric glue - £1.75 bottle, Creative Beadcraft (www.creativebeadcraft.co.uk , 1 Marshall Street, London W1F 9BA , Tel: 020 7734 1982)


• Needle and golden brown thread to match gold trims and adornments.


• 1metre of black fringing, with a drop of 10-15cm


• Scissors.


• Sewing machine (optional).

Total Cost

Mine worked out pricey by Chic Cheat standards, owing to how elusive the style of jacket proved to be.  I think it came to about £44, however...

Save It!

...It's better than parting with $9000 (about £5844 if my computer's currency converter is to be believed!) the approximate asking price for one of the originals.  That's a saving of £5800!

And now, to soldier on...

First of all, you need to get the quasi-braided look along the neckline and about 26cm along the middle of each sleeve, starting at the cuff. Glue your gold braided trim to your fabric in the pattern below.  Make your pattern about 4cm wide and copy the following steps:

Now, for the epaulettes.  Cut out two of the following shape in your flat foam wadding and four of the following in gold lamé.

Place your wadding on top of a piece of lamé, in the centre, so that you have 1cm's seam allowance all round.  Then place another piece of lamé on top, mirroring the first, so that the wadding is in the centre.

Stitch the two layers of lamé together, 1cm from the edge, ideally by machine.  You can do it by hand, but make sure it's tight and secure.

Repeat this process with the remaining piece of wadding and two pieces of lamé.

Cut away some of the excess fabric around the edge.

Cut out two sets of 40cm of your fringing and fold them back on each other, so that you have two double-thickness sets of fringe 20cm in length.

Cut out as many 15cm pieces as possible out of your gold and brown leather string. Glue or stitch down at fairly regular intervals along your fringing.

When your glue has dried, stitch the top of your decorated fringing along the wide, round end of each of your epaulettes.

Stitch your gold trim around the edge of each of your epaulettes and over the side of the fringing.

Stitch your epaulettes along the shoulders of your jacket, with the fringing covering the top of the sleeves.

Left-right-left- right- left-and pose-and strut-and exude- and sparkle for the camera, darling- because there's no daily battle you won't be able to face in this simply chic solution!

Charley's Final Thought

Check out Balmain's whole collection, and you'll notice they brought Napoleonic wartime finery into the 21st century with a new take on epaulettes, straying, in some of their catwalk creations, from the confines of bristle and fringe normality to incorporate leather and chains.

Why don't you try....

Leather

No need to spend way into the double digits on a whole skin, rather trawl your local leather and suede-monger for gold, bronze or brown offcuts.  Then, simply, patch the leather pieces around your wadding, to cover it, and dangle some strips from the round part.

If you're lucky enough to call London your stomping ground, good places to look are:

JT Batchelor, 9-10 Culford Mews, London, Tel: 020 7254 2962

Alma Leather, 12-14 Greatorex Street, London E1 5NF,Tel: 020 7377 0762

Borovick Fabrics, 16 Berwick Street, London W1F 0HP, Tel: 020-7437-2180

Walter Reginald, Unit 6, 100 the highway, London E1 W2BX. Tel: 020 7481 2233

Chains

Even more straightforward, this one.  Invest in a pair of shoulder pads from Klein's for £2.50 (www.kleins.co.uk, 5 Noel Street (in London's Soho)  W1F 8GD , Tel 020 7437 6162 ).

Cover your pads in gold lamé, or leather - you can even use fake leather for this one - and simply stitch some chains to the edge.

You can buy chains in gold and silver by the metre at Hobbycraft.  Find your local store at www.hobbycraft.co.uk

Jacket In!

Spring fashion: What’s got my attention… and what’s got my goat

I’m 25, a quarter of a century, and I’ve only six weeks left before my next birthday which I’m not looking forward to.  Quite aside from the pain of reminding myself that it’s a case of one more year wasted, I’m officially a year older and I've still made less progress in my worthless, paltry existence than a monkey sitting a driving test, my main issue is how out of my control it all is.  Rather than the milestone or rite of passage people credit it to be, age just sort of becomes me, and there’s nothing I can do about it – I wasn’t ready to be a 16-year-old when I turned 16, I wasn’t ready to be a 21-year-old when I turned 21 and now the impending shock of hitting 26 is one that can only be equalled by immersing myself in a vat of freezing water as a 6”rusty nail is jammed into my head, coupled with an electric current of 5000 volts whilst enduring a drip-torturous soundtrack of UK Garage.

Further insult was added to injury when I came across an article called What not to Wear Beyond your Teens , which asserts that anyone aged 20 or older has no sartorial rights to skimpy shorts, midriff-baring tops, miniskirts, “loud” hair accessories, oversized handbags, neon or plastic jewellery, low-cut jeans, slogan t-shirts, high stiletto heels, cleavage on show, sequins and glitter or – my favourite sanction – “dramatic” patterns, lest they should look like mutton dressed as lamb.  Yes, that’s right, kids – stop the press immediately, get Anna Wintour for me on line 1 and send out a red alert to the British Fashion Council.  All these years they have, in fact, been quite mistaken in gearing celebrity-tinged directional trends towards the young professional woman… news reaches us that they’re meant only for those on a minimum wage of £3.60 an hour, who barely even qualify for a basic student debit card and only half of whom are over the age of consent… you heard here first.

With the tone of a pre-menstrual authoritarian headmistress, and a choice of words like; “Enough is enough,” and “tone down the sparkle for more demure attire” this article really is a great read for anyone who wants to dress so far down they make Ann Widdecombe look like Lady Gaga!  My personal howler of choice would be: “(Avoid) Message (and) Slogan T-shirts: Let the teens communicate their angst through slogans, phrases and coloured drawings on their t-shirts. Wearing ‘Kiss Me I’m Irish’ or ‘Blondes Have More Fun’ can err on the side of tacky in your twenties.” …Personally, I wouldn’t agree – I’ve seen guys knocking 40 at rock clubs in T-shirts reading “Dead Girls Don’t Say No” and I think it rather gives the place character!  As regards the article, both narrow and contrived in the choice of examples, how I revel in the irony that the author neglected to mention my Tee slogan of choice: “I’m sorry.  You must think I value your opinion!”

I love my wardrobe full of printed hearts, skulls, tattoos, roses and motorbikes, insane heels, studs, rhinestones, miniskirts, costume jewellery, half shirts, hipsters… and steel cap-toed New Rocks just in case I should have the misfortune of meeting that evil writer!  (Honestly, I’m not violent *adjusts straitjacket*)  I’ve still got one remaining issue with its content, though – my lack of winter clothes…

I’m not short of jeans, long-sleeved tops or jackets, yet I always find myself shivering to the point of convulsion from November through to March without fail, and feeling like the darkest, outer-most reaches of Antarctica are small game in comparison to the science-defying lows of my freezing body temperature!  So I have to wear my coat indoors, which always makes my mum stare in disbelief before adding: “Put on something snug – like a fleece!”  I hate fleeces with a passion.  Fleeces are dull, shapeless and add about 3 stone to your shape.  Fleeces are what ramblers wear with cagoules and wellies to trawl the Outer Hebrides in conditions mankind wasn’t evolved to withstand, or what your mum wears to do the gardening in because she doesn’t want to ruin anything nice!  I wouldn’t de seen dead in one, let alone choose to own one…

…But I definitely would like to get my paws on Balmain’s military jacket and Burberry’s new trench coat (Below)

As if by magic, these hot hot houses have come up with designs which are not only suitable for all ages, but for all weather conditions.  I’d even be prepared to compromise and wear a revolting fleece underneath, so I can brave the winter cold and yet still look spring fabulous.  So, coming to an IP address near you, the Chic Cheat solutions for both.  Stay tuned… and stay beautiful.  Ciao, darlings!

Coming Up: A Mac Job - get the look of the new Burberry Trench Coat!